


It’s not so bad, not so bad

by Plushion



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Drowning victims!!, Fjord is nice, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Nott is sad and scared, This isnt a ship i just want them to be bffs, au where fjord isnt kind of a dick to her, i love these funky greens, super short lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 12:29:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19107127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plushion/pseuds/Plushion
Summary: Nott bottles up her fears. Fjord notices something is wrong. Comfort is provided.





	It’s not so bad, not so bad

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy babey  
> (Pls forgive typos and stuff)

There’s always been a lingering fear in the back of Notts’ head. It wasn’t as bad at first. The thought of never being ‘Veth’ again wasn’t as scary as it is now. Now that her family knows she’s alive, it would be impossible to give up.

She at least knows that Yeza still loves her, but that doesn’t mean she loves herself. The biggest issue is the lifespan. She’s only got about five or six years left (if she’s guessing accurately). So the problem needs to be solved before then.

The way she looks was hard enough to accept, and she still doesn’t really accept it, but the change in personality is daunting.

Yeza says that he doesn’t think she’s any different. Jester says that she’s a wonderful person. Caleb calls her bright and smart and talented. But hateful words still ring in her mind.

 _Shifty_. _Suspicious_. _Dirty_. _Rotten_.

 _ **Goblin**_.

 _ **Goblin**_ _**goblin**_ _**goblin**_.

The things she was picked on for as a child seem to be amplified. Her quirkinesses now feels more like awkward anxiety. She’s a (somewhat) functioning alcoholic, a thief, a freak. Chaos seems to follow her everywhere. Normally she would hate it, but lately it’s seems almost... fun. That’s what scares her. The fact that her sense of responsibility is dwindling down with each passing day. She’s gotten careless and guilt is eating away at her.

“Nott... You good?” Fjord asks one day. The group has just had a meeting in the war room about their ‘Big Picture Plans’. (Which always seem to end the same) (But, whatever).

“I’m... Of course I’m good.” She sniffs, trying to sound offended. Her lithe green hands trace the lines Jester painted on the walls a few days ago. It’s a big map of Xhorhas, with a few hidden dicks of course.

“I feel like that’s not one-hundred percent true.” He pulls the door closed and sits at the table. “Sit. Tell me what’s on your mind.” He uses the most gentle voice he can.

She sighs and joins him, plopping down into a chair across from him. Fjord bites down on his tongue to prevent from grinning. It looks funny, seeing a small green woman sit in the wide chair. She folds her knees beneath her to look taller.

“I just- I’m worried.” She huffs.

“About?”

“Everything. I’m so... So scared that I’ll never be  _me_ again.” She crosses her arms. “And I know Yeza loves me still, and Luc could probably get used to it eventually but... I don’t _have_  ‘eventually’ in my life.”

“What does that mean?” Fjord rests his chin in one of his hands.

“My life expectancy is ridiculously lower now. I don’t-“ She clears her throat. “I don’t even know how long I have left. I just know it’s not long enough.”

“That’s...” Fjord scratches his neck. “That sucks.”

Nott breathes out something like a chuckle.

“Yeah. I have faith in Caleb. And the whole consecuted thing in this weird-ass country, seems pretty close to what I need. To be me again.”

“Hey-“ Fjord reaches across the table, palm up, inviting. “You’re still you.” Nott scoots forward leaning across the table to put her much smaller hand in his. “You’re in a different body now, sure. But you’re still Veth Brenatto. You’ve still got a husband and a son who love you so much. I know it’s hard,” He squeezes her hand. “But you can’t give up. I’ve got faith in Caleb too. I’ve got faith in Jester and Caduceus as well. We’re gonna sort this war shit out, do a few more favors for this crazy ass country, and maybe like... Get you fuckin’ consecuted or whatever.”

“Does that mean I have to start worshipping the Luxon thingy?” Nott sniffs and blinks away the tears that threaten to fall. “Cause I’m not really spiritual so...”

“I got no idea how that shit works honestly.” Fjord sighs. “But we’re gonna figure it out. We’re all here for you.”

“Thank you.” Nott whispers.

“You’ve saved my life like five times.”

“That’s cause you’re so puny and weak.” She huffs and scratches at her nose.

“Yeah, yeah.” He chuckles and stands, sliding his hand away gently. “C’mon, Jester’s been painting somethin’ in your room.”

“Oh boy.”


End file.
